Are the Patterns Still? Or Do They Move? (Careful Now!)

The patterns are used to test the level of stress a person is subject to.

The more slowly the pictures move, the better your ability to handle stress.

Alleged criminals that were tested generally saw them spinning round.

However, senior citizens and kids see them standing still.

None of these images is animated - they are all quite still.

How did you do with the test?

A Scot and A Frenchman ... .

A Scotsman was having breakfast in Paris - coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam.

A Frenchman, chewing bubble gum, sat next to him and asked the Scot if he ate the crusts of his bread.

When the Scot answered he did, the Frenchman blew a bubble in his gum and smirkingly retorted 'In France we eat the centres and turn the crusts into croissants and sell them to Scotland'.

The Scot remained silent.

But the French guy persisted 'Do you eat the jam with your bread?', and getting the response 'Of course', continued 'In France, we only eat fresh fruit. We take the pips, seeds, peel and leftovers and make them into jam and sell it to Scotland'.

After a moment, the Scot asked his companion 'In France, do you have sex?', and after eliciting the astounded 'Of course!' asked 'And what do you do with the condoms after you use them?'. 'Throw them away naturally' was the reply.

The Scot smiled broadly 'In Scotland, we melt them down and turn them into chewing gum and sell it to France!'.

Phoning Home

A blond guy went to a world wide message centre to send a message to his mother overseas.

When told it would cost $300, he reached for his wallet, only to exclaim 'I forgot my money! But I'd do anything to get a message to my mother'.

'Anything?' the centre attendant asked.

'Yes, anything' was the reply.

'Just follow me' the attendant said, as he lead the blond guy to a small room.

'Close the door' - the blond guy did.

'Down on your knees' - and the blond guy complied.

'Pull down my zipper' - again the blond guy as he was told.

'Now take it out' - and the blond guy did.

The blond reached into the fly and grabbed it with both hands, brought his mouth closer to it, and while holding it closer to his lips, whispered:

'Hi Mum, can you hear me?'

'Oliver Twist' (1838) - Exaggeration and Melodrama as Approaches in Literature

'Please sir, can I have some more?'

I was watching the new-ish Roman Polanski 'Oliver Twist' (2005) with Ben Kinsley as Fagin ... and a friend declared that the approach taken by the director was one that involved inappropriate exaggeration and melodrama.

But this was Dickens' choice of mode, as the original accompanying etchings by George Cruikshank well show.

'The Last Chance' (Bill Sikes's Final Moments)

'Fagin in the Condemned Cell'

'The Robbery' (Bill Sikes Shoots Oliver during the Robbery of Mr Brownlow's House)

As a social reformer with an agenda of exposing the real root causes of the social and economic ills of working class C19 Industrial Britain, the author used a non-naturalistic mode as it suited his method of literary work - a didactic novel in a serial in weekly installments for a wide audience. Like a comic strip in words - weekly high drama with a cliff hanger hook has mass appeal.

Melodrama and exaggeration as approaches have negative connotations - this is because we live in the final backwash of the C19. But fashions change so we can now re-examine work in such a unrealistic mode in an entirely completely positive way. As we differently but similarly enjoy and appreciate the surrealities in 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Fagin's eye-rolling horror at his own impending death is chilling and powerful. As is the look on villainous Bill Sikes' face as he viciously and without qualms shoots Oliver Twist during the robbery of Mr Brownlow's house. We are now not embarrassed to response morally to these extreme (and effective) constructions - we are simply left to decide whether or not they work. And in much of Dickens they most certainly do!

Ten Not-So-Appalling One-Liners

1. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

2. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

3. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

4. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

5. I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

6. How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

7. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

8. Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

9. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

10. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been.


So which do you like best guys?

My favorites five are - 2, 4, 7, 8 and 10.

Lost and Found 'Treasures'

Did you ever rummage through junk shops in the hope of finding a lost 'treasure'? I think it's a deep-seated thing in human nature.

The only such discovery I've ever made was in a second-hand store - a Galle art glass vase, supported on a gilt bronze organic form. Not unlike the Degue example below, but with the bowl 'organic' in the same mode of the stand.

Art Glass by Degue

Being a student at the time and financially challenged, I sold the vase the very same day to an antique dealer friend for forty times what I'd paid for it. And it appeared the following day in his smart shop window - centre-stage and spot lit - with a three-fold marked up price tag.

Now this discovery rush can be experienced second-hand.

Like when I read about the finding by Bedouins of the roughly 1000 Dead Sea Scrolls at Qumran in 1947 and 1979. Hidden in jars in remote caves in mountains, they were copies of religious and other documents from before 100 AD.

Caves at Qumran

Dead Sea Scroll

Qumran Scroll Jar

The latest of these rushes I've had was when I heard about the discovery four years ago of the masterpiece 'Tres Personajes' (1970) by legendary Mexican artist Rufino Tamayo - in trash in a New York street.

'Tres Personajes' (1970) - Rufino Tamayo (1899-1991)

Doing unrelated research on the 'Antiques Roadshow FYI' website in the 'Missing Masterpieces' segment, the finder saw her oil painting and contacted its earlier owner - it had been purchased at auction in 1977 and stolen in 1987.

In November 2007, the real owner achieved $1,049,000 at Sotheby's auction sale, with the finder (Elizabeth Gibson) happily getting a substantial reward - $15,0000 plus a percentage of the action sale!

Emily Genauer, art historian and author of the most important work on the artist in English, has said of the artist:

'Tamayo’s lasting legacy to art history is the re-examination of Cubism and the explication of Mexico’s pre-Columbian history while incorporating elements of the mainstream movements of 20th century art. Tamayo is known for his vivid coloring and innovative use of texture, often incorporating sand and raw pigment into his works.'

Of course, stories like these are the genesis of untold numbers of 'great urban myths' and are a great boost to the faking industry.

And Continuing the 'Space' Theme ...

A friend of a friend's granddaughter works for NASA and sent me these rather spectacular photographs taken during an Endeavour mission.

Click on each one and you get really great enlargement!









This last pic is of Hurricane Dean.


Well, my socks are blown off!

Though looks rather more like something produced on a Hollywood movie set.

And reminds me of the conspiracy theory of the early 1970's that man-men never actually went to the moon - it was all manufactured by NASA on a back lot somewhere or other. All in the service of winning the space race.

Did everyone hear this great urban myth?